1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Christmas Dieting Guidelines
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Elliott Holiday Diet
Who Are Stressed
If you are stressed out over the holidays,
the following diet is designed to help you cope.
Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of the Oreos in the package,
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Dinner:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars
Late Evening News:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
Monday, December 1, 2008
Dreaming
You see her at a light: a young, hard looking woman with her haired pulled back in a convenient pony tail, two kids in car seats and the window rolled down part way to let the cigarette smoke drift out. And from her rear view mirror hangs a “dream catcher” … the circle shaped frame crisscrossed with leather cords, feathers dangling off the bottom rung. It doesn't matter that you don’t know her: because you’ve met her: an anonymous life in a world of need. Single and abandoned with toddlers, she could stand to catch a dream.
…just thinkling
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
God was only fooling ...
no healthful ease;
No comfortable feel in any member.
No shade, no shine,
no butterflies, no bees;
No fruit, no flowers,
November.
(Keats)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
So ... what did change in this election?
As a Canadian, I am old enough to remember the war in Vietnam and the cost to America in lives, dollars and world reputation. When the US pulled out of Vietnam in June of 1973, world opinion of the America could not have been at a lower point. International editorials were scathing and unsparing in their criticism. Racial strife boiled over in major cities like Detroit and Los Angeles. On top of that, the US dollar had fallen 41% in the previous two years against European currencies. It was a bleak time in America.
On June 5th of 1973, a well know Canadian radio commentator in Canada who worked for a station CFRB in Toronto, made a remarkable public broadcast in praise of America’s role in the world. His name was Gordon Sinclair. And those of us who followed his career remember him mostly as a grumpy old man: something bad to say about everything, pretty much. If I close my eyes I can still see that scowling, bulldog face and his trademark loud bow tie.
So no one could have been more surprised to hear than us what he had to say that day. No one more surprised, unless of course, you were an American. He wrote the piece that morning in about half an hour. He gave it live over radio 15 minutes later, unedited. Although some of the references are dated and the world’s landscape has changed since 1973, that address is worth remembering in our day when so much change is afoot regardless of who takes office. So what follows below is the full transcript, under it’s original title, given as I remember it, in Sinclair’s signature raspy voice and clipped, cryptic delivery.
The Americans
“The United States dollar took another pounding on German, French and British exchanges this morning, hitting the lowest point ever known in West Germany. It has declined there by 41% since 1971 and this Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least-appreciated people in all the earth.
As long as sixty years ago, when I first started to read newspapers, I read of floods on the Yellow River and the Yangtse. Who rushed in with men and money to help? The Americans did.
They have helped control floods on the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges and the Niger. Today, the rich bottom land of the Mississippi is under water and no foreign land has sent a dollar to help. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy, were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of those countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.
When the French franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.
When distant cities are hit by earthquakes, it is the United States that hurries into help... Managua Nicaragua is one of the most recent examples. So far this spring, 59 American communities have been flattened by tornadoes. Nobody has helped.
The Marshall Plan ... the Truman Policy ... all pumped billions upon billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now, newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent war-mongering Americans.
I'd like to see one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the United States dollar build its own airplanes. Come on... let's hear it! Does any other country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tristar or the Douglas 107? If so, why don't they fly them? Why do all international lines except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man or women on the moon?
You talk about Japanese technocracy and you get radios. You talk about German technocracy and you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy and you find men on the moon, not once, but several times ... and safely home again.
You talk about scandals and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everyone to look at. Even the draft dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on our streets, most of them ... unless they are breaking Canadian laws ... are getting American dollars from Ma and Pa at home to spend here.
When the Americans get out of this bind ... as they will... who could blame them if they said 'the h**l with the rest of the world'. Let someone else buy the Israel bonds. Let someone else build or repair foreign dams or design foreign buildings that won't shake apart in earthquakes.
When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke. I can name to you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble.
Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I don't think there was outside help even during the San Francisco earthquake.
Our neighbors have faced it alone and I am one Canadian who is d****d tired of hearing them kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high.
And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles. I hope Canada is not one of these. But there are many smug, self-righteous Canadians.
And finally, the American Red Cross was told at its 48th Annual meeting in New Orleans this morning that it was broke. This year's disasters ... with the year less than half-over… has taken it all and nobody...but nobody... has helped.
June 05, 1973
This address was repeated on radio stations across America as well as in thousands of public venues, including the US Senate. As recently as last year I heard fragments of it pop up in a political speech. But of lesser known significance, Sinclair waived all royalty rights to published and recorded versions of the address and gave all the proceeds to the US Red Cross, a number that totaled in the millions. Gordon Sinclair died on May 17th, 1984. All of Canada was lessened by his loss.
By the time you are likely to have read this, the election will be over. And maybe you are pleased with the outcome or worried. But I think the future for us is a good one. Because although 25 years have passed, the remarkable spirit reflected in Sinclair’s address is still very much at the heart of American life. And that is one very good reason no matter how this election turned out, I think we should all be very proud that it is. As a Canadian, I know I am. And may God bless the United States of America.
… just thinkling
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Look up! Look w-a-a-a-a-a-y-y-y-y-y up!
And I’ve found this: in the many places I have travelled I have found a warm kind of comfort every time I see a cross around someone else’s neck. Even in places where I don’t know the language, I can gesture to the person about the cross around their neck and point to mine, and inevitably they smile. There’s a bond in the cross that is transnational and transcultural. I find that it bridges a lot of ground between total strangers.
So … while you might not notice “the not-so-big” cross on our new building, people seem always to notice “the even- smaller” cross around a neck. A cross means that there is more to this person than meets the eye. There is something inside that matters more than brick and mortar. Maybe we should all wear a cross.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Good news and bad news ...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Who are ya' votin' for?
… just thinkling.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
You too can be a saint!
Like today. Today is September 18 and the saint for today is Saint Joseph of Cupertino. The interesting thing about him is that he is the patron saint of astronauts. What makes that also amusing is that he died in 1673, just a century or two or three before manned space flight.
Now we know from Scripture that every believer in Jesus Christ is called a saint. (Romans 1:7 and count 'em, 68 other places in the Bible.) No one person has special spiritual status as a saint above other believers. We are all equal before God.
But I think the Catholic calendar of saints has this real value: they remember people. People who made a difference. People who made great sacrifices for God, many of whom were martyred. People whose lives are really worth remembering.
In the present 21st church, we tend to be preoccupied with the present tense: what’s current, what’s trendy, what’s the latest worship music or what’s the hottest media innovation, what’s the new best seller among Christian books, etc, etc.
And we tend to forget the great men and women of faith in our own tradition who made it possible for us to live for Jesus in this present tense. I wouldn’t want to make them saints. But it would be helpful to all of our faith journeys if we didn’t forget them … if we remembered the great things they did for God and let them inspire us. From the John Wesleys and Jonathon Edwards. From the Savonarolas to the Martin Luthers. And from our old Sunday School teachers and former pastors and courageous missionaries … great saints all. We need to remember them.
What’s the old saying? “The road to tomorrow runs through yesterday.” And if we were better students of yesterday, we’d end up being stronger believers in the present. And braver prophets of the future. Remember that. And remember them.
…just thinkling
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
34 years and counting ... or napping
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Where were you?
Where were you when the Towers fell? This morning, as I write this, I am at my computer in my study and it's September 11th all over again. Deja vu. I almost expect Sue to come in and tell me all over again what just happened. Instead, my son Jordan just walked in and told me about his job prospects. I guess life, in all of its relentless course, marches on. People marry. Kids grow up. Someone moves away. Someone new takes the desk beside yours at work. The economy rises and falls and our politics gets nasty to the point of embarassment. So is that it?
Where were you when the Towers fell? If you can go to that place and remember. If you cannot go there physically, let your imagination take you there. Because for some, life did not keep marching on. And there are families that were forever shattered. And lovers and friends who lost someone dear will wake up today and half expect the one they lost to come walking through the door.
Where were you when the Towers fell? Remember. Remember that you are free and alive. Remember that others are forever wounded and broken by what happened on that day. And don't just remember. Pray. And maybe pray most of all that we always will remember.
...just thinkling
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
God is not a father.
Worried? You shouldn't be.
Because the Bible calls Him the Father ... as in THE Father. God is the original Father from whom all other fathers find some measure of rootedness in their identity as fathers. But God THE Father is not a father like your dad or mine. He is THE Father. Every other father there ever was only reflects who He is in very limited and inaccurate ways. And a lot of those fathers do it very poorly. Some of them abusively and destructively. And let's face it: some of them are just buffoons, which is only a step or two up in the food chain from baboons.
Which of course makes fathers an easy target for ridicule. Television and movies have had a field day making fun of fathers for generations. From Ralph Kramden to Fred Flintstone to Homer Simpson to ... well, you get the point. And subtley, its not hard to begin to think that THE Father is just like any other father, only beginning with a capital "F".
But the mix-up of fathers and THE Father doesn't stop there, does it? Others ascribe a 'maleness' to God THE Father that is really nothing more than the crippled and distorted 'maleness' of the fathers who populate our personal world. And as a result, there are folks who completely ridicule the idea of God as a father. Because if God is only like the fathers they see in life, then He's not much of a God.
Still, on the other hand, some of the fathers in this world are just plain wonderful. Like me for instance! ;-)!! I'm certain that my kids who read this blog think I am the world's greatest dad. Why, they've even given me a T-shirt that says I am! (That was meant to be sincere, right?!)
But some of the fathers of this world really are just awful. Real duds. And if God THE father was only a bigger version of one of those fathers, I don't blame some folks for what they conclude about the Fatherhood of God.
Well, the good new is that's not who THE Father is. He's not even like me ... as wonderful a father as I imagine myself to be. He is THE Father: perfectly loving and just and kind and good and merciful and fair and on and on it goes...perfection upon perfection.
(Ya know, if you're a permanent kid like me, given that THE Father is completely perfect in every way and never forgets anything, I'm kinda wondering: "where's my allowance?" But I digress.)
So ... given that God is THE Father and He really is perfect, that means I don't have to worry about the fatherhood issue and God after all. Because THE Father really is THE Father not simply a father.
And maybe this world would think a lot more of Him if we thought a lot more like Him.
...just thinkling
Friday, September 5, 2008
But can you sing?
Once upon a time, if you were looking for employment, at the very top of your resume would be your experience in the job you were applying for. If you want a job as a writer, can you write? If you want a job as a plumber, can you plumb!?
But apparently, that's changing.
Steve Stark, writer and political commentator, wrote this today...
"...given the popularity of reality shows, it is no surprise that, in 2008, the nation is being treated to an American Idol election. During the past decade, if there's one type of programming that's been pushed relentlessly, it's reality television. The whole concept of reality TV is the same as American Idol: anyone can be famous, so much so that we can eliminate the professionals and make "the people" the stars.
It's a very democratic idea and very traditional American ideal. But it's never before had the political currency it has now.The search for undiscovered electoral talent has led the Democratic Party to nominate Barack Obama, its least-experienced candidate in memory. And this past week, the Republicans trumped that exponentially by elevating Sarah Palin from the relative depths of political obscurity to the nation's center stage."
Ouch. And ouch again. We're looking to hire someone for the most powerful job in the freeworld and job experience has become a handicap, not an asset. You can argue about which person is more experienced. But in the end, maybe that doesn't matter much. We don't want "the same old Washington elites" or "the same old Washington politics" ... phrases lifted from both campaigns. On both party's ticket, new and fresh has become more appealing than seasoned and experienced. The professionals with the resumes are giving way to the neophytes with the charm and charisma.
Funny ... if I needed a plumber, I wouldn't hire an electrician. So if I needed a politician, I think I'd hire one. But can they sing?
...just thinkling
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I don't like spiders and change ... and change?!
It's a hot summer day a few weeks ago and my granddaughters are playing with Legos and their imaginations in the cool shade of our screened in porch. And then the animated yelling starts.
"Meg! Move! Get out of the way! Move! Megan!"
"Kyra! Don't tell me ... yikes!! A daddy long legs!!" (I think she hollered daddy long legs because "phalangium opilio" was too long a word to shout in a crisis.)
Well, it didn't take long for two little girls to put some distance between them and the spider. They came spilling into the house, excited terror in their eyes, calling for me to rescue them from what was certain "little girl death." I was reluctant to forsake my wonderfully horizontal position on the couch, so I told them where they could find the fly swatter, which in our house is called the bug whapper.
After a few a furtive whispers and intense strategic planning, one or two whaps later the spider was seriously dead. I know this because they gathered up its pitiful remains in a Kleenex and came and laid their trophy on my chest to prove their collective triumph over fear and death. I rewarded them with a mumbled smile and sent them back outside, still armed with the bug whapper in case another terrifying spider showed up.
A few minutes later, all I can hear from the porch is laughing and shouting and our furniture being pushed around. I pull myself up to a sitting position, a major effort on my part, and there are my two girls chasing a fly with the bug whapper and missing wildly and amusingly. After about 10 minutes of this the fly is unharmed and doing very well. And the girls are panting between giggles and regaling each other with their comic exploits.
Now, what makes the difference between a quick and decisive victory over a daddy long legs and a prolonged and indecisive non-victory over a fly? It's all about direction and the road that's travelled. A daddy long legs makes a pretty easy target for a little girl with a bug whapper: they travel on the most readily available surface and run in pretty much a straight line. Flies however, take off and scribble their way through the air, buzzing in a 100 unpredictable patterns ... landing anywhere they like and taking off in a whole new direction at will. So when it comes to the skill of escaping a bug whapper, daddy long legs end up at a lot of funerals and flies end up nibbling on the funeral lunch.
All of this is an interesting picture of the changes that are happening in the field of ... change! It used to be that change was predictable. It was built from one idea to the next, each one building on the last, each technology based on the previous technology, each reasoned thought connected to the previous one. It was like a daddy long legs: moving in a pretty much a straight line on the most readily available surface (i.e.) the idea that preceeded it.
But that's changing. Allan Hirsch in his book "The Forgotten Past" talks about moving into a new era of "discontinuous change". Change won't happen in systematic, 'trace-able' patterns and logical sequences anymore. Change will come in a manner that is discontinuous with what preceded it. It won't look like a daddy long legs running in a straight line across the back porch. It will look more like a fly buzzing randomly along an unmarked path through the air ... as unpredictable as the weather and as hard to figure out as a teen age girl's cell phone bill.
If you're like me and older than 45, we come into such times as these already "change weary." We've seen more change in our time than every previous generation combined. So when someone talks about discontinuous change, our response might likely be: stick to what you know, hold on to how you've always done it, and hope not to get washed away in this new tide of change. But will that really help?
And if you are younger than 45, the rapid pace of change you've always lived with is now about to go into hyperdrive and you won't really have a clue who's steering the future. If you feel like you're on a roller coaster without tracks it's because you are. And you might very well just stop thinking that you know where in the world life is going and just ride the wave. But will that really help?
What will really help? How are we supposed to live in a world of unpredictable, complex, 'doesn't-make-a-whole-lot-of-sense' discontinous change? Well, how's this for an answer? I have no idea. But it's worth thinking about, don't you think? After all, it is the future we're going to live in ... not the past.
... just thinkling.
Friday, August 8, 2008
When was the last time ...
... you laid on your back in the grass and watched the clouds go past while you looked for the faces and shapes they made?
... you had a real picnic with a blanket and sandwiches and potato salad and ants and no grill or lawn chairs or tailgate?
... you kissed a baby and felt their lips disappear beneath the slightest pressure of yours?
... you told a child "yes" instead of "no" or "maybe" or "we'll see"?
... you had time?
All these and more are the kind of questions that invite an inner conversation about what it is we value. Really value. If these don't spark that conversation, you might want to ask "what would?" Because its a conversation we need to keep coming back to before the lights go out and the time for picnics is gone forever.
... just thinkling
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Not-So-Secret Life of Bees
These two girls are wonderfully curious over just about anything ... but especially nature. So you can imagine how their imaginations lit up when my good friend Phil invited them to come by and spend a morning exploring the world of bees.
Now, if bees have secrets, Phil knows them all! He can tell you what they like to eat, where they hang out on weekends, what kind of cars they drive and what kind of movies they like. The girls learned more about bees than any grad student in the Ag school at UK.
And here is the secret they remember best: when it comes to bees, women do all the work! The queen lays all the eggs in a hive of about 40,000 bees. And the worker bees...all girls...feed all those babies! And not just that, they also collect all the ingredients for making honey, make the honey, seal it off to protect it, guard the hive, put the honey in jars with labels to sell at Walmart ... okay, I made that last part up. But the girls do all the heavy lifting when it comes to making honey.
Meanwhile, the guy bees, the drones, they sit around and drink coffee, read the morning paper, eat donuts and complain about the government full time. What a great life it must bee to bee a drone bee.
However, the girls get the last laugh. When the weather turns cold and the food runs low, to make ends meet the girl bees push the guys out of the hive where they die a miserable death. Which makes me wonder: what are these two grand daughters of mine going to do when their husbands reach for a donut on a cold day in winter?
... just thinkling.